Sometimes, an act of sexual violence can be committed just by pressing the “send” button.
When I was in 10th grade, the girls in my class used to whisper to each other about a pervert lurking in the bushes on the side of deserted streets. The students who went to remedial classes in the evenings were always scared stiff because, at any moment, that pervert can rush straight to the front of the bicycle, swinging his penis like an epileptic man, and laugh creepily. The girls he threatened were all trembling like a leaf. At that time, fear spread like a viral disease, ears to ears, through what is called “girl stories”, which boys absolutely could not listen to because it’s a shame for a 16-year-old girl to witness with her own eyes the sensitive part of a man (!)
The patchwork memories of that sexual deviant would have been nothing more than a boogeyman scare if I hadn’t experienced the same horror myself, albeit in a completely different dimension: through a computer screen. I remember how excited I was when my friend asked me to join an online platform called Omegle, in order to meet foreigners and practice English communication. The excitement instantly turned into panic and a nauseous rumbling in my throat when a white man pointed the camera right at his erect penis. He was just quiet, we were screaming in shock. It happened a long time ago, but still haunts me to this day. And that 10th-grade pervert suddenly comes back to my mind…
What is Indecent Exposure?
Indecent Exposure (slang: Flashing) is the intentional act of revealing the genitals unexpectedly without the viewers’ consent. In the past, people who intentionally show off their sensitive parts, commonly known as flashers, often appeared in public places such as parks, streets, or on buses and subways. As social networks develop, flashers can actively send their “private” pictures/videos to victims via text messages or intentionally reveal genitals during video calls/live streams. When Indecent Exposure takes place in cyberspace, they are known in slang as cyber flashing.
In many countries, Indecent Exposure is considered a form of sexual violence. Victims experiencing Indecent Exposure often end up in fear and confusion, some even have long-term psychological phobias, leading to many other fears, typically fear of public places, fear of dark places, or fear of sexual activities and intimate contact.
Crime behind the screen…
Despite being labeled “against the law” in many places, Indecent Exposure still occurs daily, threatening countless victims, most of who, sadly, are women. In 2020 alone, police in England and Wales have recorded more than 10,000 cases of intentionally revealing “private body parts”. 1 in 10 women between the ages of 16 and 74 is a victim of this behavior.
In Vietnam, the case is not far different. Although there are no specific data, it is not difficult to find articles about perverts “showing off” in parks, sidewalks, or buses.
As social networks develop and people go online to talk more than go for coffee, the perversion of this practice has also shifted…online. A typical way of cyber flashing is the dick pic. Sending naked pictures of penises is so common that every year when people carry out a survey, the numbers will fluctuate by dizzying amplitudes. In the US, a recent 2022 survey of 2045 women and 298 gay men found that 49.6% of women and 80.5% of gay men had received a dick pic over the phone. Most are not asked or notified in advance.
Video calling and online dating sites have also become the “mecca” of cyber flashing. A 2018 survey by the French Institute of Public Opinion (IFOP) found that 42 percent of women using dating sites were sent unwanted dick pics. The figure even rose to 63 percent for women aged 18-24.
…seems to be “pardoned”
The numbers are alarming, but Indecent Exposure is still an “elephant in the room”, everyone knows but no one bothers to mention it, let alone find a solution. I have friends who are constantly harassed by perverts on dating apps or online calling platforms. They often joke that the frequency of encountering such people is greater than the probability of meeting a lover. I asked them again, “What did you do after being harassed?” Their answer was as light as a joke: “Nothing”. They gently blocked the account (if one was hot-tempered, she would leave with swear words) and that’s it. Every day the block list gets longer and longer. A pretty friend even had to disband her Tinder account because the chat box had too many rude photos to delete.
Most of us do not realize that indecent exposure is a violation of the law, or if we do, we often click our tongues and let it go because it happens so often that the victims are so used to it that they don’t care. Psychological aftershocks become blunt and inert. Moreover, “no one goes to the police to report someone sending a penis photo” – my friend innocently expressed – “it’s like every time you receive a spam message or an insurance marketing call, you would report it to the government”. It is true that living with floods for a long time, people no longer recognize what is flood and what is water anymore. They have been brainwashed to the point of considering it a normal part of life. If one can’t stand it, she has to consciously “exit”, “delete the app” or “turn off the wifi” herself.
Even society doesn’t have the right view of indecent exposure. In the press, people mainly consider it as a “psychological disease”, or “sexual disorder” instead of a crime that must be dealt with. I wonder if the words “disease”, “illness” or “sickness” continued to be used as an excuse, will the number of people carrying the disease be as many as the number of victims experiencing psychological trauma after being made ill by a “sick” person?
Back to my story, I still can’t believe I was sexually assaulted while still trembling out of excitement, thinking I was about to talk to a foreigner. Having been over the shock, I told the story to my mother to seek help. My mother sighed and said: “Next time, don’t go to that website again”. Yes, mothers told us to protect ourselves. But when will people stop forcing victims to protect themselves and roll up their sleeves to educate the perpetrators?
You need to speak up if you want to be heard
In 2019, a young man in Hanoi intentionally approached two female passengers on the bus and masturbated. It is worth mentioning that he was only then fined…200,000 VNĐ for…disturbing public order. The surprisingly low fine is due to the lack of clear sanctions on masturbation and public “show-off”. Not to mention, the safety of the victims is not guaranteed even after the perpetrator has been “punished”.
Concerns have arisen when lawyers and the public speak out. According to many lawyers, this behavior can be classified as sexual harassment and it requires more severe punishment. The good news finally appears on January 1, 2022, when acts of sexual stimulation and pornography in public places will be fined from 5 million VND to 8 million VND. Obviously, the lawmakers have listened to our voices.
Every time the victims chose to confide with me about harassment, the first thing I do is thank them for speaking out. That means they still care about their feelings and do not want to silently suffer alone. Instead of sighing like my mother, I insisted and encouraged them to report it and ask the authorities to step in, because there’s no shame in speaking up about your rights. Even when the law is inadequate and society is not aware enough of this sexual assault, voices should be constantly raised, and honest and persistent reports will definitely be heeded.
Is it difficult to stop the perverts? Yes! It will certainly be a long-term process that requires the constant efforts and intervention of both the law and the victims themselves. Their voices will inspire sympathy and agitate action from the community to join hands to eliminate corrupt practices.
